Reasons to never exercise.

So I went to the gym last night with Chad.

To exercise more was not a New Year's resolution.

:: I wasn't trying to set myself up for failure, people. ::

He is training for some death march or marathon or whatever...so I am being supportive by gyming with him.

I did 4.5 miles in 30 minutes on the elliptical, which I will probably brag about for the rest of my life, especially because it will never be repeated.

This titanic effort resulted in chest pain, dizziness, and intense nausea, and I spent the next ten minutes alternating between chugging water and awkwardly standing with my head between my knees. (Harder than it looks.)

I THUS CONCLUDE that exercise is bad for my health, and I will discontinue the dangerous practice immediately!